X Marks the Spot Where You Find Support and Community. Welcome to Gen Xpectations.

Life is all the experience you need to mentally prepare for the possibility of losing a loved one unexpectedly. Human connection is all you need to mentally prepare for the possibility of having to watch a loved one slowly losing their battle with cancer. Internet, television, or even a newspaper is all you need to mentally prepare for the harsh reality that sometimes even young children are taken way too soon. Yet very little is out there to prepare any of us for the possibilities within the gray. For the possibility that there are many conditions and circumstances that don’t fit in any one box. For me, most of my experiences as the loved one of people with chronic illnesses have existed in that gray area of uncertainty and lengthy periods of pain and suffering that are not followed by death.

There exists a staggering number of chronic and long-term illnesses and conditions that plague our world these days. I bet all of us know at least one person with a diagnosis that is not considered terminal, but also not considered a condition that easily allows for quality of life. Conditions and diseases such as; Multiple Sclerosis, Chron’s Disease, Parkinson’s Disease, Alzheimers, Epilepsy, Severe Mood Disorders, Neurodivergent Conditions, and so on are being diagnosed sooner and more often than ever before, and are not only affecting the older population. Children are diagnosed with disabling conditions every single day, and the older population is living longer but often with many more ailments now that they have an extended life span.

For Generation X, and other folks like me, that means we very well may still be raising our children, quite possibly with one or more of these diagnoses, while also caring for our aging parents. The gift of time is incredible, and I doubt anyone would trade the extra time for anything, but it comes with many challenges and stressors and without the “me time” we so desperately need. I think many of us assumed we would have time for  ourselves “as soon as the kids go to school” or “when the kids are grown” or “when my parents pass on” or “when we retire”…. But who even gets to any of those windows of time anymore when every phase of life seems to overlap with the other.

Life can simply feel very overwhelming and our time and energy can feel very off balance. Even solutions fall in the gaps most of the time. Resources are ripped away as fast as we discover them. Systems are turned upside down as soon as we secure the right insurance plans or get through the red tape of outside support programs. Tools and assisted technology change faster than we can learn how to use them; making them useless to us.

So what can we do? Certainly, we don’t wish to rob ourselves of the extra time we have with our loved ones, no matter how stressful it can be. Surely, we aren’t angry or resentful of our family members for having ailments they never even asked for. Obviously, we aren’t going to walk away from those we love most. So then the question remains, what CAN we do?! How do we find balance and support in these constantly changing and stress enhancing times? I guess we have to create the balance ourselves, and we can do it by supporting one another.

That is why I am here, writing this raw and imperfect blog. My goal is not to over edit it or over think it or try to sound scholarly. My goal is to be honest, be real, and be relatable. I don’t share to complain nor do I wish for any life other than the one I am living. In fact, I feel proud to be doing this for those I love most and getting to show my love to them all at the same time. The gift of more time is incredible. It would just be nice to not feel like I am doing it all alone. Since I am aware I am not the only one out here feeling like I am falling short on expectations and time, I am then also aware that I am in fact not alone at all. This is great news for me, and great news for you too if you are reading this and relating to any part of it. Because it also means YOU are not alone either!